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Shoddy Alien monuments (like the ones
above) are appearing with increasing frequency throughout the Southern California's Mojave
Dessert. |
By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator
MOJAVE DESERT, CA - While Adrian Covarrubias, of the Mojave Dessert
Resource Conservation and Development Council, was beating the piss
out his government-leased Jeep Commander Thursday, he noticed
a series of strange black monoliths over the distant horizon.
Upon arriving at the scene, Covarrubias was miffed at yet another
appearance of cheap looking and shoddy evidence of extraterrestrial
life here on Earth.
"It's becoming a real problem," Covarrubias said. "The aliens are
trying to cash-in on the real estate price boom in Southern California.
They watch all those reality-based TV shows about flipping houses
and think if they simply throw up a shack, they can cash
in. For crying out loud, build us a pyramid or something, not some
friggin blocks."
Dr. Frederic Diffendorpher, an archaeological expert in interstellar
alien ruins on Earth, echoed Covarrubias' sentiments.
According to Dr. Diffendorpher the cheap rectangular pillars are the work
of opportunistic 'Alpha Centaurian' aliens and are made of the cheapest
possible galactic material available in the universe, a crystal rock-like substance called "OSB-GG" (Oriented Strand Board--Galactic Grade).
He called such bush league construction "the stuff of alien shanty
towns."
Councilman Covarrubias said that despite the significance of the extraterrestrial
monuments, he is recommending that Council introduce new zoning laws
against such cheap monument building unless it constitutes a
"wonder of the world" and, therefore, might be proven tobe beneficial to the area in some unknown
way.
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Councilman Adrian Covarrubias:
"No more alien crap in the Mojave!"
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This is the fourth time in the past year that such monuments
had to be destroyed, claims Covarrubias. He couldn't see how interstellar aliens
might profit from having to rebuild such crappy stuff over and over
again, added the councilman.
"It's like picking up litter. I wouldn't exactly say they are stupid
for doing this," Covarrubias said caustically, "but let us say that
search for intelligent life should not be given up quite yet."
The serial numbers on the most recent series of pillars lead to Earth
developer Rarf Nangork.
Nangork, an Alpha Centauri alien living openly amongst Americans,
felt slighted when told recent alien-built monuments were "nothing
to brag about and amounted to just another eyesore on planet Earth."
"If he wants to take it down, I have a good idea where Covarrubias
can put that first pillar," Nangork said. "And believe me, with my
'06 Abductor it is possible."
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