Advertising Conference
Takes Aim At Moon - CoverUps.com

Artist mock-up of Moon shown as some advertisers would like it to look on a nightly basis. Flood lights, acting as stars, cast the Moon in a flattering ethereal light, while dry ice on the surface gives it that dreamlike misty-look.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

Atlanta, GA -- Plans are in the works for the commercialization of space. Perhaps that is not surprising, but what should be is the current argument over how to divvy up all the advertising space available on the Moon and how to make the Moon generally more presentable as an advertising solution to today's ever demanding global economy.

CoverUps.com attended the 2006 Catapulting Capitalism into Space Convention at the Georgia International Convention Center last weekend. We discovered some otherworldly plans for the Moon.

"The Moon just begs to be an advertising venue," said Nike footwear ad executive Tom Barkley. "Imagine the Nike swoosh painted across it-we sure can!"

Wal-Mart would like to paint the Moon yellow and carve out a big wide smiling face for all of mankind to see, said Madison Avenue ad executive Lamont Depardieu.

"It makes sense; think about the unavoidability of the moon," Depardieu said, reaching for another Tom Collins. "It's all about location, location and, well, I can't remember that third thing."

Wal-Mart declined that they have any official plan to paint the Moon. However, K-Mart was a bit more forthcoming.

"Martha (Stewart) has many ideas about how best to decorate the Moon," said conference attendee and K-Mart spokesperson Ken Adkinson. "Her plan is to go plaid on the Moon to maybe shed of its monochromatic limitations to give it more of good wholesome country-living type of quality."

CoverUps.com pointed out that advertising on the Moon might be culturally offensive to some, but this reservation was met with smiles and polite laughter.

The key note speech, given by none other than alien entrepreneur, Rarf Nangork, provided an overview of eventually enslaving the Moon.

"Basically, you just think Earth, but on a smaller basis," Nangork said.

Another attended said Nangork was currently advising Wal-Mart and other retailers on obtaining an low-cost alien workforce to paint the Moon.

"Once again," Nangork said, "Think Earth, but smaller."