Wal-Mart smiley face goes on three-day bender;
ends up in egg carton – CoverUps.com

The Benton Arkansas District Attorney’s office recently charged the Wal-Mart Smiley Face with drunken driving and propositioning a crate of Grade A Eggs for sex.

By Matthew “Scratch” De Reno
CoverUps.com Investigator

BENTON, Ark. — The Wal-Mart Smiley Face pleaded no contest last Thursday to misdemeanor drunken driving in exchange for three years’ probation and mandatory AA meetings, CoverUps has learned.

As part of the plea agreement, charges of driving with an elevated yolk-alcohol level, abandoning a vehicle at the scene of an accident, and having an open container of alcohol in the car were dismissed.

The Wal-Mart Smiley Face, a recovering alcoholic, made national headlines last week when he went on a whisky-fueled, three-day bender in Benton Arkansas that left half the community without power when he crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a power transformer.

Police picked up the strung-out business icon the next morning in a crate of eggs and charged him with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of an accident and propositioning a crate of Grade A Eggs for sex.

In a prepared statement, a representative for Wal-Mart said they stand behind Smiley Face and will help him through these problems.

“It’s pretty clear here that Smiley Face has some issues he needs help with,” said Greg Jefferson, a Wal-Mart spokesperson. “We want him to know that help is available and that we look forward to him returning in his role as the ‘falling price’ bouncing smiley face soon.”

According to the press release, Smiley Face volunteered to do a public service announcement on the hazards of drinking and driving, and tolerance for K-Mart shoppers.