God Takes Out New
Flood
Insurance Policy – CoverUps.com
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People are beginning to get a little nervous down here, Fr. Lou McKenna recently told CoverUps.com. God, it seems, has renewed his flood insurance policy. The Almighty has even upped His coverage to include natural disasters of "biblical proportions.” |
By Scratch De Reno
CoverUps.com InvestigatorTHE PEARLY GATES, HEAVEN - Once again we have become privvy to all sorts of cool things from Fr. Lou McKenna of the Fox Mulder Church of Boston when it comes to the inner workings of Heaven.
Many of the more sensitive and prescient people in our midst are getting nervous and fear the worst, because God is taking out a new flood insurance policy in the event of another “biblical storm” of the type that blew into town when Moses was down here building the ultimate recreational boat.
“I think we have good reason to be concerned,” Fr. McKenna said, never once offering us a sip of his Irish coffee. “I mean the last time he took out an insurance policy was way back when – and maybe we should put one and one together and accept the fact that we're going to be flushed down the proverbial crapper real soon.”
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Artist conception of the drowned world that awaits us. Better call that Aflac goose, and quick. |
Fr. McKenna is unaware of any heavenly or earthly plans to put all animals two-by-two in one big boat for a forty-day cruise, a forty-day cruise. Nonetheless, he's going online to google information about species that might get washed away with humanity come the deluge.
“The truth is it was a big mess with all the animals on board last time,” Fr. McKenna said. “We really only need DNA samples to remember how the critters were all put together.”
Still, we asked him – wouldn’t he need a place to preserve all the DNA? You need to house it somewhere – create some kind of archive to be accessed later. A database.
“Why do that when there's free stuff online that can do it for you?” Fr. McKenna said, finishing his coffee.
We asked him what that might be.
"I've got it covered," McKenna said.
He leaned close and cupped his hand to our ear.
“Wikipedia,” he whispered.
(Scratch DeReno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)
