God Contemplates
Super Bowl Commercial – CoverUps.com

Capitalizing on the popularity of many hip commercials, God is reportedly kicking around the idea of running a Super Bowl ad promo next January. He feels it just might be what's needed to get His otherwise-lost message of peace, understanding and love out to the dopey masses.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

THE PEARLY GATES, HEAVEN – CoverUps.com has learned The Lord Almighty was contemplating forking over some major cash for a 30 second Super Bowl commercial, which will assist in boosting his popularity in areas other than his normal fan base.

However, CoverUps.com has learned, The Big Cheese decided against this at the last minute, for fear he would fall victim to a “miracle malfunction.” This would be much in the same manner as when Justin Timberlake accidentally exposed Janet Jackson's breast while exposing the NFL to the world as having one major stick up their center position.

We caught up with Fr. Lou McKenna, our heavenly pipeline, who was busy refilling his wine vats at the Fox Moulder Church of Boston, MA. McKenna is a big fan of tossing the pig skin around every so often.

“Hey, God wanted to cover a good topic in his commercial, but really couldn’t think of what. He was thinking of lampooning heaven or something like that – with all the monkeys jumping around. Then he wavered between a beer-themed promo and one keeping with his carefully cultivated image, which he has been working on since the beginning of time.

McKenna said God was ready to do this a few years back, but after that Timberlake debacle he decided to pull back.

McKenna said some possible commercials that The Head Honcho considered included people doing all sorts of sins and being caught red-handed. One punch line: “There is a commandment for that!” Another idea was to mimic the, “What’s in your wallet?” ad campaign by Capital One. However, the slogan would instead say: “What’s in your heart?" (Very nice, we like that one)

McKenna said his personal favorite was a commercial promoting The Lord Almighty’s soul salvation services to a newer and younger generation of tech-savvy worshipers that are replete with mp3 players, cell phones and other gadgets. He wouldn’t totally let the cat out of the bag, but he came close.

“Say hello to iGod,” McKenna said smiling. “What more could you ask for? It not only holds your salvation it has the battery life of all eternity,” he said.