Pharmacy to Create Prescription
Drug Value Menus – CoverUps.com

One of the new Rite Aid value-priced combo drug meals – the brainchild of a Seattle-area doctor. Critics are split as to whether his program is insane, ingenious or illegal.

By Scratch De Reno
CoverUps.com Investigator

SEATTLE, WA – A Rite Aid Pharmacy in downtown Seattle is using a creative new program to make it easier for customers to get prescription drugs while at the same time making the drug companies even happier by pushing other newer types of drugs that may or may not be beneficial to the patient. It is called “Combo Drug Prescription Pricing” and is reminiscent of the value menus at many popular fast food places such as McDonald's.

Critics are clamoring over the issue, which many liken to “fast medicine.” But, customers seem to take to the idea.

“It was great and speedy and I loved it,” said customer Dan Wofford, 63, who routinely picks up a prescription for Coumadin, an anti-coagulant to keep his iron cells in check. “I just ordered a combo ‘Number 3’ and received my blood thinners plus a bottle of Viagra and some happy pills to boot – Paxil I think. I was amazed at the overall low price when I bundled my medication.”

Dr. Robert J. Payne, who operates a general practice in the suburbs of Seattle, WA, started the "Combo Drug Prescription Pricing" program, claims it's good for all parties involved.

“Not only does the consumer get to try some of the latest drugs out there,” he said. “The drug companies line their pockets. Plus, the unintended side-effects just mean more business for doctors in the long run.”

"Combo Drug" plans include custom tailoring based on one’s interests. For instance, a “Happy Meal” includes an assortment of many of the most common anti-depressants such as Prozac. The “Love Combo Value #6” will include a bottle of Viagra along with Lunesta sleeping pills to ensure a night of both wonderful exertion and long lasting sleep.

“There's a lot that Pharmacology can learn from the fast food industry,” Payne said. “Most importantly, you don’t need fries to make a good combo, just Flomax.”

Payne is also a proponent of legalizing Marijuana for medicinal purposes and would like to see it added to the menu.

“If you are going to have a combo meal, you should have a little green with it, huh?” He said. “I would look at adding marijuana as sort of like opting for a side salad at Wendy’s – it makes everything a little more palatable.”

Such positions leave many wondering - what's Payne smoking in his office by himself? We confronted him and he was, to his credit, straightforward:

“Nothing that isn’t already in combo #4.”