U.S. Portion Size Out Of Control;
FDA Turns Blind Eye - CoverUps.com

High-powered ambulance chaser, Milford Godfrey, Manhattan, New York, snacks on a full-size rotisserie chicken while conducting business on his cell phone. He keeps a Rotisserie basting oven in his Lincoln Navigator and a George Foreman Grill in his brief case  to squeeze in feedings between malpractice trials.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

NEW YORK - The Food and Drug Administration buried a report on the alarming rise in portion control as a main culprit of the high-fat, high-calorie modern American diet, Coverups.com has learned.

The report, The Contribution of Expanding Portion Sizes to the U.S. Fat Butt Epidemic, was to be published this year in the American Journal of Public Health. But, contributing author Marlon R. Young, PhD, RD, said the report was suppressed by food industry lobbyist with fat pocketbooks and even fatter asses.

"Cleary we can all see around us the obesity epidemic," Young said, "and the government simply does not care."

Wing eating champion and Graphic Designer, Allison Parker, Oakland, CA. prepares to shove a whole cake down her pie-hole. To balance out this meal, she plans to swallow three whole oranges without peeling them.

Dr. Young was fired from her job shortly after she finished the paper and submitted it for publication. Now, she works the late shift at a Bronx KFC restaurant, where she is part of the late crew.

"I went from a chemical researcher at the FDA to schlepping buckets of fried chicken," Dr. Young lamented. "But, I guess I have to go where the work is. I see more and more fat butts than I have ever seen in my life and it really bothers me."

Fashion designer Elizabeth Goodmans-Langford, Manhattan, New York, consumes her fifth desert cup in just two minutes. Goodman's-Langford took third place in a 2005 Competitive Eating Contest when she downed 55 boiled hot dogs in a half hour.

Matthew Shea, spokesperson for the International Federation of Competitive Eating, sees no problem with U.S. eating habits and lauds individuals such a Goodmans-Langford (pictured above) for being proud of their eating habits.

"The U.S. economy is based on consumption," Shea said. "This is what we (Americans) do best-be it spending like maniacs for things we can't afford or scarfing down Pizzas, burgers and fries like somebody else will eat it if we don't, that's reality and that's America…"

Shea, who is a good 560 pounds, suffered a heart attack and promptly died after our interview. Paramedics needed to remove the door frame of his trailer home to carry his lumbering hulk to the meat wagon.

In his possession was a tear-stained copy of Young's report.

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