Employees Say New Sky Walk Is Dangerous
High Wire Act - CoverUps.com
By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com InvestigatorMELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - numerous employees of BHP Billiton, one of Australia's largest companies, are voicing complaints about a newly constructed sky walk connecting their corporate headquarters with a cool lunch room located in an administrative building across the street, CoverUps.com has learned. The new sky walk appears to be nothing more than a high wire stretched from one building to the other and several employees have plummeted to the street below.
"I feel like I work in Cirque du Soleil," said Norman Mombassa, an accountant with the Mammoth Global Mining Company. "You would think that Billiton would have the kind of financial resources to build us a decent sky walk. Already, three accountants have died walking over to the cafeteria in the other building. I know we are just accountants, but jeez. Our lives should have some value."
And value is what it is all about, Billiton Investor Relations Manager, Sir Albert Shimmen, added.
"At last year's annual meeting, we had to outline a plan to reduce costs and eliminate jobs to make Billiton more lean and competitive in the global marketplace," Shimmen said. "Our ad-hoc team on adding value thought up of the high-wire skywalk, which would not only reduce the price of a costly skywalk, but kill off a few unnecessary accountants as well. It was a win-win for everyone."
Although several worker safety groups are alarmed at the plan to kill off employees through cost-saving programs that might result in serious injury, disability or death, most offer mild protest at best.
Australian Worker's Union Rep., Jeffery Hughes, does not believe it is a big deal. He said it is about time white collar workers had a little danger in their lives.
"It beats the hell out of working in a mine shaft, aye mate!"
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