Baby Face Frank Donatello Assumes Control
of New York Crime Families – CoverUps.com

Move over Tony Soprano, get ready for the youngest ever mafia crime boss. Frank “Baby Face” Donatello is only 8-months old, yet he runs his inherited organization with an iron pacifier and cunning charm. The FBI believes Donatello is really a cold minded Mafioso, hiding behind his façade as a cute infant.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

FBI 'RICO' Task Force Agent, Tom Rico, states “Don’t be fooled by how cute the little tyke is on the outset. We have been building a case against him ever since he gained control of his gripping reflex, he grabbed a bat and beat a mob informant over the head. That is the Donatello we know.” Plus, he admits is tough to figure out what infants are saying since they communicate by crying. 

Alfonso “Two Baubles” Pitrè is so called because he carries two milk “baubles” everywhere he rolls (literally). He is particularly known for his cold demeanor when handing out sentences remanding his enemies of the 'crib'.

Rico went on to explain the difficulty of building a RICO case against a toddler.

“You see these 'kids' have not committed any suspicious offenses - yet,” said Rico, “but don’t be fooled. They are very smart and use their baby-like charm to get what they want. Last month we found an under-boss killed when he was suffocated with Pampers. Now, only Donatello could call the shots on a hit like that.

Irish crime boss, Kate Murphy, is caught shortly before a “meeting” at a pediatric office checkup. She said she has qualms about “spilling the Flintstones” and when it comes down to it she is protecting her territory.

Rico (who often gets confused with the 'RICO' task force) feels the only defense against the toddler Mafioso is employing “alternative tactics” currently not well defined in the FBI handbook.

Yakuza captain, Akiko “Samurai” Shinzo, often beguiles her enemies with her charms. Don’t be fooled, says Rico. She is the ring leader of a organized crime gang operating out the Cobra Kai Day Car Center in San Francisco, CA.

We asked Special Agent Rico if he might share with CoverUps.com exactly how he planned to fight this toddler crime-boss.

He smiled knowingly. "Two words," he said, "Super Nanny!"

(E-Mail Silly Suggestions / Silly Questions to: SILLY@CoverUps.com)