Connecticut Couple Discovers Missing Person
Half Buried In Garden - CoverUps.com

Larry and Gabrielle Horstman of New Haven, CT awoke last Saturday to find a woman half lodged into their garden. Authorities are mystified as to how the woman got there.

By Matthew “Scratch” De Reno
CoverUps.com Investigator

NEW HAVEN, CT — Local police were called Saturday to investigate a call from Larry and Gabrielle Horstman, who claimed to have found a body in their garden. When the police arrived, they were shocked to find a live woman seemingly lodged into the garden, her legs sticking straight up in the air. At this time, police are refusing to release the identity of the person they found lodged in the Horstman’s garden.

“Weirdest thing I had ever seen,” said Patrolman Sean Rimolt. “When we first received the call I figured some local gang most have waxed a ‘mo-fo’ and dropped the body in a garden. We are seeing more of that stuff lately. Boy was I surprised when we found a lady half buried in the garden. I haven’t seen a woman’s legs up in the air like that since my wedding night,” joked Rimolt

Larry and Susan Horstman spent last Friday engaging in S&M until the wee hours of the night. They awoke to find a missing person lodged in their garden outside.

The Horstmans shaken by the incident do not recall anything strange occurring in the neighborhood the night prior to the incident.

“We were engaged in some kinky S & M with the neighbors,” Gabrielle said, “So, if there was something weird going on outside, we probably were not in the best position to hear it… In fact we were probably in this position…”

(Whoa!)

Luckily, the New Haven Volunteer Fire Dept. was able to remove the person from the garden. She seemed surprisingly healthy, though she had no recollection of what happened to her for the past ten years. Her memories ended the day she turned up missing in 1996.

However, before they could do a full medical evaluation, she was whisked away by several Government agents. The Horstmans called CoverUps when the Government would not provide an explanation.

Our suspicion is that this woman was abducted by aliens and beamed back to earth. Sometimes missing victims simply reappear at the oddest of places. If the aliens are off even one iota on their transporter beam calibrations, it often results in something odd like discovering a person half buried in a garden, or a man with his head in a toilet. The new 06’ Abductors designed by General Saucer Co. are notorious for their inaccurate transporter beams.

Still, we will never know for sure.

(Scratch DeReno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)