Venezuela President Chavez Lashes Out Over
U.S. Bar's "Two Taco Tuesdays" Promotion - CoverUps.com

Barie's Bar & Grill in West View, PA found itself in the vitriolic crosshairs of Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, for a recent promotion called "Two Taco Tuesdays," which he thought was aimed at asserting American hegemony of the world taco market.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

WEST VIEW, PA - The World Trade Organization received a petition from Venezuelan president and outspoken nut-job, Hugo Chavez, claiming that his nation can't compete against the unfair U.S. trade practice of "Two Taco Tuesdays," being offered at a bar in the U.S. His petition claims the "Two Taco Tuesday" promotion, where the American's are essentially giving tacos away for nearly nothing, is in retaliation to his "Bush is the devil" comment he made at the U.N. headquarters in New York earlier this month.

The saloon, Barie's Bar & Grill, in West View, PA (suburb of Pittsburgh) started the promotion last Tuesday and it has been a smashing success. They claim that Chavez's comments had nothing to do with their promotion and that it was not retaliatory in nature.

"I guess we were thinking how we could drum up more business for the place...," said Barb, the owner of Barie's Bar & Grill, which is no bigger than an average sized game room. "Then some drunken guy said, 'hey tacos are good... Why not have a special where you get two tacos on a Tuesday for the price of one taco?' I thought it was brilliant. It just seemed like good business sense, especially with the deal they recently swung for Ortega taco shells at the local Costco."

Tom, a tattooed biker who frequents Barie's Bar, once killed two men that were robbing him at an ATM machine and said he is a big fan of the "Two Taco Tuesday" promotion because two tacos remind him of the time he killed the two men, since both involved two things.

"I don't see what's wrong with it - them tacos are good," Tom said, hiccupping. "I like tacos... Real good. Can I have another shot and a beer please?"

Pictured to the left are two fully loaded tacos, which would normally retail for a $1.25 each, for a total of $2.50 (USD) at Barie's Bar & Grill in West View, PA. Under the controversial "Two Taco Tuesday" promotion both tacos can be bought for a buck and a quarter. Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, is calling it a "Taco Dump."

Barb said Barie's Bar & Grill will not stop the promotion anytime soon. She said it is a good money maker for a bar in a community of hard drinking and hungry customers.

The promotion has drawn mixed reactions from around the world.

Mexican President, Vicente Fox, said he is not bothered by the promotion of "Two Taco Tuesdays" and thinks it is a good idea. "Why hadn't we thought of that?" Fox said. "Two tacos on a Tuesday, let alone any day of the week, for the price of one taco, is a good deal... Sometimes you have to give America credit. This is one of those times."

Islamic militant groups released statements claiming that "Two Taco Tuesdays" are simply another plot by the U.S. and Israel to dominate the globe. The statement immediately called for Barie's Bar & Grill to switch to "Two Goat Tuesdays" or face dire consequences.

"We got their two towers - their two tacos are next!" Said a masked militant in a video sent and broadcast on the Al Jazeera network. In the video he symbolically cut a taco with a sword.

Not realizing he is in the middle of an international firestorm, some guy leaves Barie's Bar last Tuesday. He said the tacos were delicious and gives "Two Taco Tuesdays" a big thumbs up. (The shadow is yours truly, Scratch.)

"I would like to see one of those pencil neck cowards stick their head in Barie's Bar any day of the week," Tom the biker said, munching on the first of his two tacos. "I will rip them two new assholes - one for each taco and one for each tower."

(That makes four, but we didn't want to tell that to Tom, he was on a roll)

Patrons of Barie's Bar & Grill simply carry on despite harsh criticism of Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez. In fact, most of the humps shown here were more concerned with things like the upcoming Barie's Trivia Night. The jack pot was up to $46. Moreover, many thought Chavez was that new guy that just opened up a chain of mattress stores in Pittsburgh.

Hugo Chavez said Barb, like President Bush, is the devil incarnate. He added that when he spoke at the U.N. General Assembly to trash Mr. Bush, it not only smelled like sulfur, but taco sauce, too - he just forgot to mention it!

In related news, CoverUps conducted an independent investigation after Chavez's inflammatory speech to see if indeed the podium smelled like sulfur as he claimed. The results were surprising.

We found no traces of sulfur, but shortly after Chavez left the U.N. the whole place smelled like tuckus.