Fountain Mishap Befalls
8-Year-Old Girl – CoverUps.com
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Decorative, interactive fountains like these have been a source of delight for people of all ages across the country. But for an unsuspecting little girl in Colorado, they turned dangerous. |
By Fredericka Kozlowski
CoverUps.com InvestigatorOn August 28th, 8-year-old Atlanta Siskel, accompanied by her mother and older brother, were enjoying a peaceful afternoon shopping when they encountered the kind of seemingly-normal interactive fountains used by shopping malls across the country.
“It looked just like any other fountain -- the children loved it when the water came up ... But I never expected this…” mother Beth Siskel, recounting the incident that has left people around the country dumbstruck.
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Geysers like this shoot boiling hot water hundreds of feet in the air. After several disastrous attempts at placing them in urban playgrounds, a federal geyser ban was put in effect. |
Little Atlanta Siskel and her brother frolicked without incident in the fountain for several minutes while their mother looked on from a nearby table. Then, without warning, Atlanta walked over a hole and was shot into the air by a jet of rising water. She was last seen hurtling over a distant thunderhead by disbelieving onlookers.
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Beth Siskel and her daughter Atlanta, before the unfortunate event. |
Coverups.com contacted the company that designed and built the fountain, Kablooie Technologies. Their CEO, David F. Kablooie, claimed there was just no way the system used by the mall that the Siskels attended -- the Wowie-Zowie Biggie Boost Mega Fountain 9000 -- could be programmed to deliver water with such force.
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"It just ain't possible," said Kablooie Technologies CEO David F. Kablooie. "Our water fountains ain't that strong. Not even the Wowie-Zowie Biggie Boost Mega Fountain 9000. You know, that's our top-of-the-line fountain system. Ain't nothin' better." |
But Mrs. Siskel is unconvinced. She pushed police to start an investigation of Kablooie Technologies, David F. Kablooie, and the Wowie-Zowie Biggie Boost Mega Fountain 9000, the underground controls of which do have a manual mode for maintenance purposes.
"There's no need for you to go to all that trouble," said Kablooie. "Our products are perfectly safe.
Chief Johnson of the Fort Collins Police Department released a statement: “Mr. Kablooie can tap-dance all he wants, but he remains a person of interest to Fort Collins Police Department detectives. We will not rest until we have rescued -- or determined the fate of -- little Atlanta Siskel.”
Some scientists speculate the little girl may have been hurled into low earth orbit by the Wowie-Zowie Biggie Boost Mega Fountain 9000.
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This photograph was taken by a United Airlines pilot the day after the Wowie-Zowie Biggie Boost Mega Fountain 9000 mishap. Note the speck just above the horizon line, which some speculate could be little Atlanta Siskel. |
