Old Man Winter credits Botox
for Fresh new look – CoverUps.com
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Old Man Winter is looking younger and fresher than ever. He claims it’s from Botox treatments, which have done wonders for his crow’s feet, his wrinkled forehead and cheeks, and the frostbite. He also shaved his beard, updated his wardrobe, and got a haircut. In short, he looks a lot like the Old Man Winter of 40,000 years ago. |
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By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com InvestigatorEVERYWHERE IT IS COLD – We all know the stock image of Old Man Winter as a venerable and frail old looking man with flowing robes perhaps, a huge staff (now, now) and a beard as long as the cold winter months.
That’s all changing now as Old Man Winter has undergone a radical update to his image, tantamount to those HGTV shows where they spruce up people who need a good sprucing.
“I feel freaking fantastic,” Old Man Winter told CoverUps.com. “I mean I know I’m not any younger, but the Botox has me looking like I did 40,000 years ago. Plus, I lost the robes, went to Super Cuts and shelled out some money for some new digs at Abercrombie & Fitch. It’s a new me. A fresher and younger Old Man Winter.”
Old Man Winter said his new happier comportment is also the result of having less to do.
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OM Winter – tanned, rested, and ready. |
“I got sick of fighting it out with El Nino,” he said. “You know, having a little sunshine and mild temperatures during the winter is really not such a bad thing…. I used to hate mild winters… wanted them all to be severe white-outs… because that’s what I do…. However, that all changed when I bought my first car….. Even I hate to drive in the snow. You know, I think global warming may turn out to be not so bad after all.”
(Scratch DeReno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)
