Tickle-Me Wupolary Hottest Toy
in Universe – CoverUps.com

Pictured above is a 'Tickle Me Wupolary', now all the universal rage. Some aliens will stop at nothing to get a hold of one. Representatives from Earth-based Tyco, however, claimed it is a blatant rip-off of 'Tickle Me Elmo' and have threatened legal action. They want to sue Alien Co., the maker of 'Tickle Me Wuplary', but keep missing deadlines. Tyco believes that their minds are somehow being erased causing them to forget any legal action.

By "Scratch" De Reno
CoverUps.com Investigator

THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE - 'Tickle Me Wupolary' is the wildly-popular children’s toy from Alien Co., who first introduced the toy to the Milky Way Galaxy back in 1006 A.D. becoming that year's top fad. It is green in color and loosely based on Elmo (a character from "Sesame Street"). When squeezed, 'Tickle Me Wupolary' chortles and through some kind of eyeball-based neurological connection, makes you suddenly laugh out loud as well. Earthlings are claiming it's a blatant rip off of the "Sesame Street" character, sans the mind connection.

How could Tyco have been ripped off by something that predated their toy?

“This is complete bullshit,” said Tyco patent attorney, Bruce Powers. “It's pretty clear that the Wupolary aliens, have time travel, and went back in time to steal our idea for 'Tickle Me Elmo'. They not only manipulated time but also stole our idea for themselves. That is shameless… Wait. What the hell were we just talking about? Must buy donuts… Must buy donuts… Must buy donuts!”

(Donuts are typically a sign of Wupolary mind control. Wupolary aliens oftentimes will control people’s minds to buy donuts in mass quantities. They love them and can’t get enough of the sugar)

When squeezed three times in a row, Elmo begins to shake and laugh hysterically and 'Tickle Me Wupolary' does much the same. Much like batteries in the Elmo, on the back of Tickle Me Wupolary is a Velcro access slit, but inside it is carbon crystals that help power the doll.

In 1996, the 'Tickle Me Elmo' was the "must have" toy. Many parents literally fought other parents in many North American toy stores to get their mitts on one of these toys for Christmas. The short supply of the toy, due to unexpected demand, meant that stores gouged the consumers drastically. Newspaper classifieds at the time sold the popular toy for hundreds of U.S. dollars over the retail price. By comparison, the 'Tickle Me Wupolary' is expected to command 35-Galactic Dollars, roughly equivalent to the value of our mid-sized G2 life-supporting Sun. And, you would still be hard pressed to find one at that cheap price.

Aliens will stop at nothing to get their hands on a 'Tickle Me Wupolary'.

Recently, a Wupolary clerk at the Alien-Mart in Zeta Reticula, Balls Dorfborger, was among those injured by "Wupolary-mania" when a crowd of 400 Grey aliens, Hertinskuyars and Wupolary beamed into the Super Store at the same time. They saw him with one of the remaining toys and he had his “pod trampled and his antennas yanked," according to a police report.

The report further indicated that he "suffered a pulled Glornbiffer, torn wump vessel and injuries to his telepathetic cortex.” He also suffered a “broken mindsplitter and several damaged plasma nodes."

Alien Co.’s legal problems may not end there. The vibrating brainwaves produced by the 'Tickle Me Wuplary' use the same mind-thought technology found in General Saucer Co.’s Alien Abductors. General Saucer Co. is considering joint legal action with Tyco. If they ever remember to file suit.

On a final note, the U.S. Military is rumored to have recovered a 'Tickle Me Wuplary' from the purported UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. CoverUps.com contacted retired Col. Nathan T. Hawks who was allegedly present at the Roswell alien crash in 1947. He seemed strangely distant and trancelike:

“Must buy donuts… Must buy donuts… Must buy donuts.”

(Scratch De Reno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)