Man Goes Through Airport
Security Naked – CoverUps.com

Todd Buff, 59, Chicago, decided he would take matters into his own hands. Long since tried of excessively long security screen lines, he took matters into his own hands by arriving at the airport naked. Now, he should be able to breeze right through to his departing terminal.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

CHICAGO – It is no secret that airport travel delays are at an all time high and passengers connecting from one airport to another are met with delayed flights, lost luggage and planes that sit on the tarmac so long the pilots actually have a chance to sober up!

One man, Todd Buff, has had enough and is taking matters into his own hands.

“At first, I started packing lighter and lighter in an effort to whip right through the check in,” said Todd Buff, 59, an ad executive. “Finally, I said screw it – I will just go through naked. Now, they can’t make me stop and take off my stupid shoes or put all my jewels into a box. Now, I can walk right through. It is great.”

Buff said that at first, he thought he would be in violation of public indecency laws and statutes but most local authorities are not sure how those same laws apply to baggage check-in procedures.

“Hey, I got nothing to hide,” said Buff. “Now, the only bag on me is the one between my legs.”

He did say that has not totally stopped the entire luggage search process. In fact, one impressed baggage screener, Lucy Sutton, of Overland Park, IL, said that despite being naked, one can still be randomly searched.

On a recent flight to Albuquerque, Sutton chose to search Buff, despite the fact he was naked.

“I did get a good hand on his bag,” she laughed. “That was good. You know it has been such a long time…”

Lucy Sutton, a baggage screener for the TSA, grabbed a naked man's bag last week during a routine baggage screening. She claims it was well worth it, especially as it didn’t cost her a dime.

Some in the airline industry welcome naked people like Buff.

US Airways president and chief executive David Siegel said more naked people could mean an additional revenue stream for the cash strapped airline industry.

How?

“It makes it easier for us to screw you!”

(Scratch can be reached Scratch@CoverUps.com)