Camouflaged House Decorum
for Democrats - CoverUps.com

Recently CoverUps.com traveled to Boston, Massachusetts to investigate rumors surrounding the “painted buffalo”. Once there, we were astonished with what we found…

To help buffalo survive the hunting season in Boston, Massachusetts; PETA is now painting all wild buffalo. Their PR director is quoted... "The paints are completely harmless and will not cause cancer or blindness."

Experts say this is the only way to insure that herds will be safe in public.

Senator John Kerry wants to adopt the a herd for his Idaho Ski Mansion, his Denver Ski Mansion, his French Villa, his Italian mountain fortress, Cape Cod beach house, and his 87 room Virginia estate. It is also curious to note that Kerry has renamed his 3 yatchs: "Huie," "Duie," and "Louie." in memory of his first 3 wives.

To help the dwindling buffalo population survive the annual hunting seasons local PETA members are painting all wild buffaloes from coats, to heads, to hooves. As the gaudy creations stroll nonchalantly through the streets, undetected by the hunters, people stop and stare to marvel the ornate buffaloes for their artistic beauty and expression. Some locals have even reported that the painted buffaloes slow movements reinforce their artificial appearance; seeming akin to lifeless statues as opposed to the wildly rustic buffaloes of the fields.

When questioned about the humanness of the cause the PETA spokesperson stated “We are in it for the buffaloes. This is a completely humane act to help save an endangered species and the paints are both harmless and free of cancer and other infirmity causing agents”. Reinforcement from experts who stated that “This is the only way to ensure the safety of the herds in public” confirms the humility in PETA’s actions.

Upon hearing about the beautifully bedecked buffaloes however, Senator John Kerry wrote to the senator of MA requesting to purchase the buffalo as decorations for his Idaho and Denver ski mansions, French villa, Italian fortress, Cape Cod beach house, and 87-room Virginia estate. The MA senator responded apologetically writing…

“Senator Kerry: We thank you kindly for your interest in our beloved buffaloes. Unfortunately your vast amount of property is far more extensive than our herd’s population and thus we are unable to adequately supply you with enough buffalo to bedeck the rooms of your many houses. In addition, the hunters were outraged to hear that their ignorance would be further duped by a man will to purchase all of the camouflaged prey. Moreover, upon consulting the herd we discovered that they all preferred the Cape Cod property, and that they would either all go there or none at all. Obviously such a small property is insufficient to support the entire herd and thus they have denied your request for fear that they would be split up between properties, a fear the chief buffalo addressed by stating:

“We will not be made slaves of idle Democratic decorum. No Senator, we will not go.”

Thus Mr. Kerry we humbly apologize for our inability to fulfill your request and hope you find better luck elsewhere. Why don’t you try Arizona? I hear the Republicans their make fine statues…”- Senator, MA.

Thus with much disappointment Kerry was left to look elsewhere for home furnishings and the buffalo were allowed to continue roaming the streets, whereby their signature look still went undetected by the hunters.