Pinocchio Lives! - CoverUps.com

The Wooden President: CoverUps.com recently witnessed Clinton caught in another uncomfortable press conference whereabouts his lying provoked a rather unusual physical reaction. After a quick exit from the press room, Clinton's spokesman took the stand to give his typical "no comment" response. But CoverUps.com connived its way into the back room whereby former associations with Mr. Clinton's personal assistant allowed us to extract some very important information...

Turns out Pinocchio, wooden boy-turned human, maintained a certain genetic defect which he passed unto his offspring. Upon marrying his wife Annabelle, the two conceived several children, one of which was named Humphrey. Apparently, Humphrey is a very distant relative to the Clinton family, and though the generational and lineage gaps are wide, somehow former President Bill Clinton maintained the genetic defect.

However, his "defect" did not begin to show visual symptoms until his presidency. (First evidence of the defect was noted during the Monica Lewinsky trials). Yes, President Clinton, like Pinocchio, suffers the ill-fate of visually bearing evidence to his false testimonies. Whenever Clinton intentionally lies his nose will slowly begin to grow, thus his undoing in many a complicated matter. However, this nasal-growth process does occur much slower than Pinocchio's originally did, and, if he exits stage quickly enough, he can avoid detection of his suddenly over protrusive proboscis.

Luckily, a daredevil effort by one of our journalists resulted in a photo of Clinton after his recent mishap. Here he is, in all his dishonest glory. My Clinton, what a small nose you have!