Iraq Not Sure What to Do With
Saddam’s Netflix Account – CoverUps.com

By Scratch De Reno
CoverUps.com Investigator

BAGHDAD, IRAQ – A flap has occurred in the struggling democracy in Iraq over what to do with Saddam Hussein’s overdue Netflix account, which has recently been suspended. Even worse, nobody knows what he did with the three movies he had checked out in his queue: "The Godfather," "Jackass The Movie" and "The Karate Kid, Part III."

“It raises a lot of questions about how this flap will be resolved,” said a high level Pentagon advisor. “There are just so many questions about which of the groups within Iraq will control the account as it is always a struggle amongst the three major warring factions of Iraq, the Shi'a Muslims, Sunni Muslims and Kurds.”

The spokesman said that Shi'a want to maintain a greater majority of control over the account, which currently allows three unlimited rentals out per day. They would like to be able to pick 2 of the 3 movies. Iraq's national security adviser Mowaffak al-Rubaie has petitioned the U.S. military to allow it to check out mostly action films and political thrillers but can live with the occasional romantic comedy so long as it does not involve Julia Roberts. The Kurds, who tend to lean toward the romantic comedies, are miffed. The Sunnis tend to steer toward horror and Sci-fi. Some critics also counter the Sunnis can’t be trusted to return the movies once viewed.

Now that Saddam Hussein’s Netflix has been suspended they are trying to retrieve the films he still had checked out, no one knows where the movies are. They were "The Godfather," one of his favorites, and, perhaps surprisingly, also "Jackass the Movie" and "The Karate Kid Part III."

In an exclusive interview, Al-Rubaie told CoverUps.com that the whole situation is (to borrow a pedestrian term): “F---d up.”

Hussein has left the fledgling Iraq democracy with a welter of unpaid bills, and large amounts of worthless currency.

“We have a lot of things to resolve,” he told CoverUps.com. “It is bad enough deciding on a movie to go see when it is just you and your spouse. Now, we've added a third element to the mix,” he shrugged. “However, on a more positive note, I wholeheartedly believe that if we can resolve Saddam’s delinquent Netflix account, we can resolve anything. It also might help if the U.S. government increased our rental plan, but that doesn’t seem likely.”

In a surprising slip of the tongue, Al-Rubaie added:

“We have his timeshare in Iran to deal with, too…er, is this off the record, right? Come back here you son of a CoverUps goat!”

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