Government Waste Uncovered:
Tax Dollar Toilet Paper – CoverUps.com
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A new report,:"Money Down The Drain", claims that the U.S. Government is so filled with wasteful spending, that real dollar bills are clogging toilets in Government buildings, because they are using them as toilet paper. |
By Scratch De Reno
CoverUps.com InvestigatorWASHINGTON – A new study shows that most government buildings have clogged toilets from too much money being flushed down the toilet. "Money Down The Drain", a report on Government waste, has many people in Congress scratching their collective heads.
“I know there was a lot of surplus funding in our budget, and we were excited to piss it all away,” said Terry Pecker, a member of the House Committee On Ways To Your Tax Money, “but, this is just flat out stupid. I mean Ted Kennedy is getting money to help with his bartending certification and we were proud of that. My God, this was beyond anything I could have imagined. I think we have gone too far, when some Government staffers are wiping themselves with your tax dollars and then flushing them down the commodes.”
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Terry Pecker’s Office toilet, where he once caught a bureacrat wiping his butt with your tax dollars. In that case, revenues were garnished from one Joe Bowen, of Milwaukee, WI. |
He claims he will put a stop to the practice.
“What happened is people are getting sick and tired of money being flushed down the toilet. So, we have to do something about it. I am that guy, I know a lot about toilets and money being wasted.”
Terry claims he learned first hand how toilets worked when he would routinely be given a “swirly” by members of his high school football team. A swirly is when they would pick up his scrawny body, turn him upside down and dunk his head in the toilet.
They would then pull the commode handle, and the result was a swirly king look on his hair.
“I guess that is how I learned about how toilets work. Maybe wiping my ass with a twenty is a way to get back at those bastards.”
(Scratch DeReno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)
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