Discovery HD Channel Tired of Trying to Make
Dorky Scientist Seem Cool – CoverUps.com

Dr. Ian Flanagan of The Institute for Genomic Research (TIGR) in Rockville, MD, looks at a model that captures attention, especially as part of high definition television programming. However, producers of high definition (HD) documentaries find it hard to drum up interest in the scientists themselves, who are often nerdy and even more unattractive in their HDTV close-ups.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

AROUND THE WORLD – On many high definition television programming channels, you are apt find a multitude of refreshing and entertaining shows on nature and science. In some sense, HDTV may be just the remedy for the increasing interest in many academic fields (of which interest had previously waned), such as biology, chemistry, astronomy and the social sciences. However, many producers of such shows complain that for all its inherent advantages, HDTV can’t make a dorky scientist suddenly seem cool.

“HDTV, while nice to look at, it does nothing for the nerdy scientist holding his beaker, surrounded by charts, clutter and tables." said Larry Myers, a programmer for INHD, "We would pay top dollar for once cool scientists. Oh wait, come back Dr. Venkman...”

Researcher Johann C. Meckler of the Mathematisches Forschungsinstitut Oberwolfach. His theories are very interesting to say the least, but video producers say he is about as much fun as watching paint dry on the Planet Mercury (which is also something Gloekler is working on doing).

Myers said there is a certain amount of sex appeal that has to go into every show, despite its fascinating subject matter. According to Myers the bottom line is TV is about sex and sex sells - science is interesting but doesn’t sell. We need sexy scientists or the genre is doomed, reports Myers.

“You can only show so many asteroids slamming into Earth accentuated with ear-pounding drumbeats while glowing magma and parts of our destroyed planet are cast to the sky only to rain down in a torrent of fire, which then vaporizes our atmosphere,” Myers said, loosing himself in an almost orgasmic moment. “It is right at that moment when you cut to the scientist and he looks like a complete egghead!”

It is a perplexing problem, Myers said. It is hard to make these people look cool.

Video producers rarely pan down on Meckler as this they are likely to see an affront to the fashion gods. Who in their right mind thinks that white socks with sandals is "a cool look?"

Myers said that video production companies will jump through any hoop and shell out countless dollars if they ever do come across a research scientist that is not only fascinating intellectually but holds your interest on the TV screen as well.

“We are not talking about having sexy blonde Swedish female researchers,” Myers aid, “we are talking about personality. Is that too much to ask for?”

Dr. Hugo Von Tesla of the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, NJ, has wowed the scientific community with his portable fake brain. However, get him in front of a camera and viewers will only see some guy that in all likelihood had never gotten laid despite his mastering of the Klingon language.

Myers added that several TV producers have approached him about a reality based TV program geared toward advanced scientific researchers. However, Myers claimed that the “Nerd-o-meter” would simply not be able to take it.

INHD is contemplating using actors as stand-ins for the real researchers to remedy the problem. They don’t want to do it, but may have no choice.

“The trick with researchers is you need less definition not more,” Myers added.

(Scratch De Reno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)