NASA to Build Ladder to Moon – CoverUps.com
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NASA is opting out of expensive space shuttle style flights in its new lunar landing program. Instead, they want to build a ladder to the Moon. The ladder will be the biggest public works project in the history of mankind, with an estimated cost above 900 trillion dollars. NASA plans to use Home Depot and Lowe’s Department Store credit cards to pay for it. |
By Scratch De Reno
CoverUps InvestigatorCAPE CANAVREL, Fl. - The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) wants to return to the Moon; but this time, CoverUps has learned, they want to avoid the perils of space flight entirely and just “climb to the Moon” – by building the world’s tallest ladder.
“Building a ladder to the Moon is the way to go,” said NASA Deputy Administrator Shana Dale, in a recent CoverUps conference call. “We are utilizing the power of America’s vast network of Home Depots and Lowe’s Home Improvement stores…”
The moon is Earth's only natural satellite. It is also a cold, dry orb whose surface is studded with craters and strewn with rocks and dust (not unlike the surface of Hillary Clinton).
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This artist's conception shows how NASA's moon ladder will climb into the atmosphere. By 2017, the ladder should be completed. Original plans called for it to be an “extension ladder” but costs skyrocketed (no pun intended) and a conventional ladder was chosen instead for the ultimate design. The Moon Ladder's designer, surprisingly, was a fifth grader – Trevor Anderson, 11, of Chattanooga, Tennessee – who won a contest sponsored by NASA after their own engineers crapped out. |
Dale estimates the span of the Moon ladder at roughly 238,900 miles. By the time a typical climber reaches the last mile, he or she simply lets go of the ladder and “falls to the moon” with a parachute.“We can’t actually connect the ladder to the moon, because the Earth is rotating and the Moon does its crazy thing up there too,” she said. But, once a month, the ladder will be right under the Moon. Then, anybody can simply jump onto it. This Moon Ladder will be open to the public. We'll charge reasonable user fees. ”
Dale had no comments on whether the moon was secretly made of cheese and that the original astronauts to land on it in 1969 had been sworn to secrecy ever since.
However, she did say that the next man to step on its surface would be wise to bring along a bottle of his favorite wine and a fondue pot!
