New Breakthrough In
GMR Technology – CoverUps.com

Two genders of rock are now possible, thanks to genetic engineering breakthroughs. The female is on the left. She appears to be in the middle of a mating ritual. The four males on the right lack the female's colorful plumage.

By Fredericka Kozlowski
CoverUps.com Investigator

TUSCON, AZ - Now in just over ten years of development, a follow up on the Genetically Modified Rocks (GMR's) uncovered a shocking new talent of the rocks. One of the creators of these special rocks is Dr. Sennet Han at University of Arizona. CoverUps.com talks with Dr. Han again at length to discuss the new-found ability that GMR's can now mate.

It's really quite facsinating, these GMR's are a lot like us, in a way. The male chases the female, they seem to have a mind of their own, and their own specific tastes. I've seen granite-derived females choose limestone-derived males. While some limestone males only line up to compete for basalt-derived females. There's really no predicting which kind will go for which."

Basalt-derived males wait for a chance to pass down their modified genetic material.

CoverUps.com was lucky enough to witness the ritual, and can vouch for the authenticity of the scientific breakthrough. This will ultimately drive down the prices for such rocks so more of the public can afford them to decorate their yards, lay kitchen floors, and even place makeshift bases in an ordinary pick-up game.

Another group of females. The process of choosing a mate can take up to a week. Once a mate is chosen, the new GMRs stay together for life.

With such a short gestation period (only 10-20 hours), many fear a case of out-of-control mating, like that of rabbits. But Dr. Han assured us us that he feels the GMR's, unlike humans, stop at a reasonable number of offspring, with no birth control needed.

"I haven't seen any one female GMR 'create' more than five offspring." Their mating and birthing processes elude the human eye, but Dr. Han stays optimistic. "One of these days I'm going to see the magic moment, once my batches have become comfortable and familiar enough to show me how it's done. But if you do leave those guys alone, definitely expect to see some little cobbles of joy the next day.

(Fredericka Kozlowski can be reached at @CoverUps.com)