Origin of Life on Earth Solved? - CoverUps.com

Our life-bearing rock, Earth, hurts through space. According to alien Oflak Gorg, Earth was seeded by his cousin's landscape company.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

SEATTLE, WA - In a recent interview at a Starbuck's Coffee, Dr. Oflak Gorg, a preeminent "Earthologist" and Alpha Centauri based "Gray" alien, revealed to CoverUps.com something that has puzzled mankind for millennia, the long and tantalizing mystery surrounding the origin of life on Earth.

Dr. Gorg claims that his cousin, twice removed, Oshit Nettle, was part of an alien project to seed Earth some 4.5 billion years ago.

"Growing Earthlings was quite a worthwhile project," Dr. Gorg said while sipping a mocha cappuccino in an exclusive Coverups.com interview. Near the smallest planet in the Alpha Centauri Solar System, Proxima C, there is a planet called 'Wisconsin' (not to be confused with the cheese-producing U.S. State), there my cousin has a bio farming company and that is where the idea to grow a primitive civilization for sport came together."

Surprisingly similar in appearance to black peppercorns, Proxima Pro Human Builder Sun Mix (pictured above) was used by Alpha Centauri aliens to seed planet Earth somewhere between 3.5 billion years ago and 1963, scientist believe. They created the mix on Wisconsin, an Earth-like planet orbiting Proxima C.

Dr. Gorg cites complications from Proxima Human Builder Sun Mix as to the varying skin pigmentation and other apparent physiological and cultural differences around the world.

"We never really got it right and it shows," he said. "But, hey, celebrate diversity is what I say. Believe me, its boring when we all look the same. Everybody was supposed to be Sahlfung-colored."

When asked what exactly "Sahflung" looks like, Gorg was at loss to describe it.

"Sahflung does not exist in the electromagnetic wavelength humans can detect, so I can't rally describe it," he said. "It's a color like all colors but none at the same time, plus it makes a sound, too, and has a smell similar to garlic."

Astrobiologist (and it must be noted: part-time Block Buster video clerk) Ted Selig, Wenatchee, Washington, disagrees.

"Of course they would like to take credit for starting life here, but I don't buy it," Selig said, "You're telling me their approach with Earth was simply throwing lawn fertilizer everywhere to see if we grew? Do these idiots think we were born a billion years ago?"

Selig accuses the aliens as wanting undue credit for starting life here so they can possibly tax us one day or enslave us as their property.

"There is no evidence supporting Dr. Gorg's land claims on Earth," Selig said, "…these aliens are not to be taken seriously."

When asked about Selig's comments, Dr. Gorg responded, "Whatever-Chia boy."

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