Time Traveler Discovered? - CoverUps.com

This skull was removed from a crater in the Congo, with headphones attached.

By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com Investigator

GÖTTINGEN, GERMANY - Heinrich Krause, of the Max Plank Society for the Advancement of Science (Max-Planck-Gesellschaft zur Förderung der Wissenschaften), was on an archaeological dig in the East side of Africa last year, when he discovered a most remarkable find: A fully developed human cranium wearing head phones was once believed to be 4.7 million years old, but found to be made in 1982.

He brought back the find to the Max Plank Institute where he also had his head examined.

Krause firmly believes he discovered the remains of a time traveler.

"There can be no other explanation for the million-year-old headphones, which by today's standards may as well be a million years old, anyway," Krause joked. "One would think he would have taken an iPod with him if it was a time traveler from today's time."

Using research findings from The Human Genome project, Krause believes the skull belongs to a research scientist that disappeared from Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the 1980s, Dr. Burt Schlong, who was last scene building a time machine, smoking pot and listening to Steve Miller Band, which was his favorite group.

Krause concludes that the introduction of Steve Miller Band's music some millions of years ago, may have contributed to the sudden departure of the dinosaurs. Krause is one of the few scientists that believe Dinosaurs actually hung out for a while with humans before they drank and smoked themselves into early extinction. He now believes the music of Steve Miller Band may have caused the dinosaurs to kill themselves.

Krause said the Dr. Schlong's time machine was reportedly destroyed in the ignition phase of his crude portal when it exploded. His laboratory was reduced to a crater and he was nowhere to be found.

His son, Bill Schlong, 46, a bed and breakfast owner in Long Island, NY, claimed it was his father's wishes to go back in time, smoke pot and "Go On… Take The Money And Run."

He never saw the wheel, Krause said. In fact, Krause believes fractures to the skull are consistent with head trauma brought on perhaps by a caveman's club, stomping by a dinosaur or prolonged exposure to Steve Miller Band. He is not sure which. Ironically, bong resin in his cranial cavity suggests his own skull came to be used as pot smoking device itself throughout the millennium.

"I don't know if that is karmic retribution, reincarnation or simply nature's way of recycling," Krause mused. "Other than that, I'm not sure what this means."

Dude… Cool.

(Scratch DeReno can be reached at Scratch@CoverUps.com)