Witch Doctor Conjures Time Portal
From Discarded Big Rig Tire – CoverUps.com

Environmentally Friendly Time Travel: As a result of both native culture and federal regulations, the Native Americans of the Pacific Northwest (Seattle, WA) have embraced the potential of recycling goods and have been forced to live off the land, literally. An oversized big rig truck distributed monthly goods to the natives and shortly thereafter some of the tribesmen managed to change the big rig's tire, leaving behind the over-sized wheel that had been formerly in it's place.

Attempting to make use of the large apparatus, the tribal Witch Doctor called a meeting with the local chiefs whereby it was decided that a time traveling machine should be constructed using the tire's open center as a portal. After many months of trial and error the Witch Doctor discovered the 'magical' answer to time travel.

Apparently the tire is a portal to the days when Indians use to rule that land. Any Native American who passes through the portal can temporarily visit the old ways of their Indian ancestors for a period of 3 hours, 5 minutes and 46 seconds. At the end of the session, the time traveler will reappear in the center of the tire facing North, whereby he exits unharmed.

It should be noted, however, that the tire portal is only to be used by those of pure Native American blood. Unless you are 100% Native American, the portal will not work and you will simply look goofy (crazy even) standing in the middle of a big tire while shouting "take me back in time Scotty!"